When you’re strange

weird people

A friend of mine sent me this quote the other day. It did not offend me for two reasons:

  1. I know she’s weird
  2. I’ve accepted the fact of my being weird long ago.

But acceptance of the so-called “strange factor” was not always the case.

Of course as a young child, those early years are innocent enough. Playing, singing, dancing with friends. Picking each others noses. Harmless follies.

Soon enough the self-awareness and self-confidence issues began. Not only had I discovered the display of a “quirk” to be shamefully rejected, it also appeared the verified weirdos were not doing so well socially. Being different doesn’t sit well when dealing with the masses. As a person who preferred to feel accepted, I fell into a great cover up of fear and taking myself too seriously.

As the years passed, I became cemented in a downward spiral of the loss “me”. While addictively chasing forms of outside happiness and acceptance, the pattern was established of running from myself. But as a lot of us know, wherever you go – there you are.

By some kind of Grace, in my early thirties I began peeling back layers of falsehood of which I’d been encapsulated. Once again (as in early childhood) I began to find, experience and accept my true self. It has been (and still is) a slow, sometimes painful, yet always Glorious process.  All those strange things I erroneously concluded were unacceptable are becoming acceptable – to me. Turns out that’s all that really matters, loving the person God made me to be.

Bonus: As I accept my true Self, God continuously put others like me in my path. When we unite and let down our weirdo hair, we rejoice in the clarity of who we really are; strange, odd and absolutely amazing!

You are never alone, there are others like you. Take the time to find “your peeps” and celebrate the peculiar wonderfulness that is you.

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Thanks to you!

love heart

Words are futile
to describe how I feel
about you

You, who give your most precious asset
Time
to my ramblings

How to convey this?
I’m practically speechless

But I will say
in the most limited way
YOU are absolutely, unmistakably

Amazing
Innocent
Perfect

and if it takes “words” to remind you
so be it
and so it is

WordPress sent a notification informing me it’s been one year since I began my blogging journey. Woo hoo! I’m still here and so are you!! How cool is that?

Thank you and God bless!

Image courtesy of luigi diamanti at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

If you spot it, you got it

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. Carl Jung

If this statement causes you to swallow hard, squirm a little, take in a deep breath followed by an eye roll………you’re not alone.

Lets face it, people can really annoy us! We aren’t like those bad people!! Right???

“I don’t like working with this person. They’re so rude and negative!”

“I can’t believe she is going back with that guy. What’s it going to take for her to get her stuff together and move on with her life?”

“What kind of mother does that!” (fill in that blank)

“I don’t understand how they got themselves into so much debt. It’s so simple – don’t spend more than you take in!”

These are a few examples of things that can get me fired up (my face is flushed as I look at them because its all me in there). And although perfection is not the goal, I’m thankful to be graced with perseverance and  the willingness to change.  As Dr. Jung has stated, I have been lead into deeper understandings:

  • In the moment, when I am playing judge and jury, I’m simply feeding a “false sense of superiority” which provides my ego with a twisted pleasure.
  • I’m capable of every single bothersome behavior, whether it be from my past, present or future.
  • When I’m judging others, I am actually judging myself. Forgiveness is in order.

Although it sometimes feels impossible difficult to face,  I’m awakened to inspired Truth. There is no separation. We are all One.

So thanks and gratitude is in order for all those bothersome people. They really are my best teachers!

God I pray for the continued gift of awareness of judgments against myself and others. Help me to practice true Love, Acceptance and Forgiveness.

 friends dancing

image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Never Ending

nature

Life’s dark

Seemingly bad things happen

Light appears

Seemingly good things happen

Fallible perception

Sees an end

Hardly noticed  – the new beginning

Forever thinking; finite – shallow

Surrender’s painful, yet

Skyrockets into infinite power – grace – love

Again and again and again and again

Curious fight?!?

Wills collide Let the spark carry on!

photo by CBurns

Keep Going!

cloud opening

The squirrels were being extra squirrelly.

Sure hope I don’t run over one of them, I thought as I began my days trip along the bike path. They know a storm’s brewing as they scrimmage from one side of the path to the other.

Besides the jittery animals, the emptiness of the path felt strange. Where was everyone? It seemed we had plenty of time before the downpour. Right? But as I continued to peddle, my uneasiness grew.

Maybe I should turn around and just go home.

The only problem was I couldn’t justify it. Even though I was a soul traveler this particular morning and the feeling was somewhat lonesome, I still believed it was okay to keep going.

So I kept going. For awhile anyway……until I caved.

And it wasn’t a squirrel that took me down, but my doubts and fears when I made a choice to turn a deaf ear to the small voice that knew everything was going to be just fine.

On my return route I began to see human life form; a bicyclist in full gear – goggles and all. A woman covered head to toe – hoodie and all. My people! Others on this path who are willing to take a chance, who are willing to go out on a limb and take risks.

Although I know ultimate strength and courage comes from within, it’s so incredibly comforting to have others traveling along with you. To mirror back that while you may not go with the masses, you’re knowingness can be trusted.

Keep going! It’s safe! You got this!

I rounded the corner to see a few more, then a few more and the reality of it all; I never was alone. It may have seemed that way for a stretch but others were there the whole time.

Although I did cut my ride short because of my uncertainties, it’s okay. I did get some time in and will try again tomorrow. I don’t have to get it right all day, everyday. I just have to suit up, show up and keep going.

 

photo by CBurns

Inner Guidance System

“We must not be easy in giving credit to every word and suggestion, but carefully and leisurely weigh the matter according to God.” – Thomas a’ Kempis

Every once in a while, when traveling along the bike path, it’s interrupted by street intersections. Although there aren’t any stop signs at these points for traffic, sometimes I find a good Samaritan who will stop and wave for me to go on over. Such a NICE person. So thoughtful and considerate.

The only problem is there is another lane of traffic and the good Samaritan has no way of knowing if that oncoming car is going to stop. As he’s happily waving. Me. To go.

It reminds me of life. So many well intentioned, wonderful, giving, compassionate people ready to assist you. To give their advice and help. Happily waving you to go on across.

The only problem is they, through their limited view of any given situation, cannot make that call. They can’t possibly see everything that’s on the road. Ultimately the only one who can really know its okay to cross over is you.

Sure you can put your trust in the waver overer…..and I suppose that’s okay….as long as you don’t blame them when you get knocked into next Tuesday.

After all, YOU know other cars are coming, don’t you want to give yourself credit in knowing it might not be a good idea? Evaluate, make your own judgments and decide what your next move will be?

Personally, I do have a few people in my life who I talk things over regarding my life happenings. People I trust. People who love and only want the best for me and I wouldn’t trade them in for anything in the world.

However

I have to also learn to trust in myself. My inner guidance system. Live my own life. Wait patiently on the other side, even though others are waving me on.

Ask for guidance on a daily basis from an all-knowing Higher Power. Trust in the gift of common sense. Then I’ll continue when I believe it’s safe to do so while blowing loving kisses to all the wonderful good Samaritans in my life.

Communication is the key

To communicate: the successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings.

Okay so, verbal communicating is not my strong suit. I’m much better at writing than talking about what’s going on upstairs (sometimes considered a rough neighborhood and should be entered with extreme caution).

Of course I cannot chronically write, throwing notes at people all day and I cannot stay silent……..indefinitely anyway.  I must communicate via talk and the fundamental importance of this form of connecting was brought to my attention in a big way while spending time with my 3 year old grandson.

He wanted something to eat and was trying to tell me with his limited ability to pronounce some words correctly. For a minute there, we were having a heck of a time.

You want an apple?”

Rapidly shaking his head, “NO!” (he had that word down.) Tratker.”

Ummmm….a cookie?” (Silly grandma)

He was insistent, “Tratker!”

Well I know you don’t want to eat a tractor!”

He actually smirked at me.

Ok I’m sorry baby,” I said as I escorted him into the kitchen where he single-handedly swung open the cabinet door, pointed to the top shelf and looked at me as if I was the one with the problem.

Ohhhh,” I looked down at him and smiled. “Cracker!”

Tratker!” he clasped together his sweet little hands in triumphant victory.

And what a victory it was! Finally, after all the confusion and mystery, we made the connection.

I felt it through my entire being and it appeared he did too. We were both then satisfied and happy that our efforts and willingness to hang in there with each other paid off.

Maybe the innocence of this situation is what really awakened me to our primal need of not only understanding but of being understood. I can tell you we both had somewhat of a wall between us during our confusion but once we connected – we were in love again 🙂

BONUS: He got to eat his tratker.

Whatever the situation – in life – conversations have to be had. Most of the time more than one conversation has to be had (ugh). A lot of the time the same topics have to be talked about again and again (ugh ugh).

Whether addressing an issue in a friendship, expressing my feelings to my spouse (heads up honey) or my grandchild looking for a tasty cracker, it seems it still remains; communication is the key.

drew with cracker