Magnificent Moon

moon and wolf

 Evening arrives bringing along its eminent darkness.

 Stepping onto the porch, I smile as the fireflies dance to the cricket’s tune.

 The cobalt glow transmitting through the light-less street could only mean one thing.

Suspense fills me as I play peek-a-boo with the tall trees, searching for a clearing.

Creation is undeniable in the presence of the magnificent full moon.

Image courtesy of nixxphotography / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What’s your problem?

The source of joy is always present, always available, and not dependent on circumstances. There are only two obstacles;
1) the ignorance that it is always available and present; and
2) valuing something other than peace and joy because of the secret pleasure of the payoff.  Along the Path to Enlightenment, David Hawkins, M.D., PH. D.

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For years, I absolutely believed outside circumstances were the cause of how I felt inside. In other words, I loved to blame.

First the parents, then the ex, then the bosses, the economy, the struggling adult children, the weather, the family members who just don’t “get” me, the aging process, the hormones,….the list goes on and on and on.

Eventually I started to “wake up” to the fact that this kind of thinking was getting me nowhere and if I really wanted to change, I’d have to look at my part. (ugh)

But because I was blessed with the Grace to “grow up”, today I absolutely believe the source of any disturbance comes from what’s going on with me on the inside.

Namely ‘where am I at spiritually’???

A simple example is to reflect on any recurring incident. For instance, a child spills the milk, AGAIN. One day I can react with a ‘oh boy, go get a paper towel and wipe that up’. Another day the response can be the total opposite, ‘Oh come on! How many times are you going to do this? Why can’t you be more careful?’

Same people, same situation, same milk.

So why are the reactions so different?

I’m obviously more at peace (inside) on the day I react in kindness. It’s just proof (and I loooovvve proof) outside influences do not have to control me. And this pertains to EVERYTHING. From the spilled milk, to the roof caving in from so much freakin’ snow, to the unacceptable (to me) situational disturbance in any of my relationships.

Wow! Can you say freedom?!?!?!

Of course, now that I know this, I won’t be able to blame anything or anybody for my “problems” in life (uh oh) – but – this will steer me faster into the solution of which I am solely responsible – as well as – capable. And the solution is to once again line up with God.

Infinite Source is always ready, steady, willing and available and when I do this I WILL once again know peace.

So whilst I’m stumbling along the path to enlightenment, I’ll hopefully become more aware of when I’m getting caught up in the blame game of “if everyone would just straighten up and fly right, see things my way, (and learn how to drive, too while you’re at it!) then I’d be just fine!!!!” Oh wait!

Oooohhhmmmmm……Oooohhhmmmmm……Oooohhhmmmm……

It DOES work if you work it!

I’m IN the Band

Daily prompt; We got the beat Have you ever played in a band? Tell us all about that experience of making music with friends. If you’ve never been in a band, imagine you’re forming a band with some good friends. What instrument do you play in the band and why? What sort of music will you play?

microphone

Like a lot of things in my life, I took it for granted. But lately I’ve been realizing not too many moms have been able to say “I’m IN the band”.

It had been something I always fantasized about doing. I was your typical sing into her hair brush kind of girl. So a few years ago (actually over 14 yrs now) when my brother asked me if I would be interested in joining his new band, I grabbed the bull by the horns (and my microphone) and was ready to run out the door.

“Not today,” he laughed. I immediately felt like a dork and pretended like I knew he didn’t mean right that minute.

“See you Tuesday, you dork.”  He knew.

My love for music goes way back. It started with singing along to the Jackson 5 as a child, to Frampton comes alive as a preteen, to one of my favorite memories of being in the 5th row while Eddie Van Halen tore through his guitar at lightning speed, while wearing his shit eatin’ grin.

Prior to this invitation, the most stage experience I had was singing karaoke. In fact, I was so “green”, I brought my karaoke microphone to the first practice and thought I could plug it into the bands PA system.  Turns out you can’t.

After getting over my initial embarrassment and nervousness (did I mention I have terrible stage fright?) we started on my first song. It was a little off in places that’s for sure, but as I drove home from that practice, every fiber in my being was screaming, “YES!!”

Our practice space may as well have had a revolving door as drummers, guitarists and basses whirled in and out. I quickly learned musicians can be funny creatures as well as very temperamental. Suddenly all those VH1 shows I used to love watching became my reality and I understood the” drama” of it all.

It was frustrating at times as we worked on getting a song list together for our first performance. We would have it close to perfection and the drummer would mysteriously plunge into a temper tantrum and stomp out the door. This left us looking for his replacement only to start the process of learning the songs as a group all over again.

If nothing good comes easy, we were on to something great.

Finally it came time for us to enjoy the fruits of our labor and step into the lime light; our first gig. The establishment was dank and cramped as our friends and family packed in like sardines. I was jumping out of my skin with excitement and fear, as I squeezed through the crowd like toothpaste through a tube thanking everyone for coming out. Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder, “it’s go time.”

As I made my way to the stage, I felt my legs weakening under me. I turned around and gasped at the sea of faces through the smoky haze. The background music stopped as the clinking of glasses seemed to amplify. The crowd stared with anticipation and suddenly the rocker in her skin tight dress and knee high boots, felt like the proverbial deer in headlights. I was jolted out of it with a nudge, “Say something.”

“Uh, thank you everyone for coming out, um and supporting us tonight,” was all I could spit out. I hadn’t put too much thought into that part of my role. They called it “fronting” the band and something you don’t have to worry about with karaoke.

I heard three clicks from the drummer followed by a burst from the rest of the band joining in. It felt surreal and I was relieved to see the cheat sheets with the words to the songs in my sight. With each passing chorus, my nerves smoothed out like an iron going across a wrinkled bed sheet. I fell into a groove with the crowd and the band. By the second set, I knew I was born to be a rock star!

The energy of the performance outweighed all the obstacles. I loved every last second of it from putting my outfit together, to the power I felt belting some of my favorite songs into the microphone, to the unity of the band. The applause whistles and compliments weren’t too shabby either. By the end of the night, I was spent. Done. But extremely satisfied.

Collapsed in a chair, my brother walked by and laid one hundred dollars on the table.

“Are you serious? We’re getting paid to do this?”

“Well if you don’t want it, you can give it to me,” he laughed. “Good job by the way.”

Our friends and family continued to support us by following the band around to all our different gigs. A mailing list was started and we were picking up fans by the dozens. After” paying dues” we snagged some outside festivals complete with lights, sound men and spacious stages.

Practices still got a little snippy at times but when we got on that stage, the magic happened. For all of us the love of music prevailed at the end of the day.

It was a thrilling, sometimes grueling, time in my life and I learned being in a band takes up a lot of time. I couldn’t ignore the pull to be home with my family. I had my time, I rocked it out and now it was time for me to hang up my microphone and leave the building.

Hey, hey, my, my. Rock n’ roll will never die and neither will my love for it. In the end, I had that experience and one day I will pull out the old photos of the “hot” rock n’ roller and tell my grandchildren about the time their grandma sang in a rock band.

And not too many grandmas can say that.

Image courtesy of duron123 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Naked Tree

naked tree 2

As the tree stands in all it’s nakedness
I think
look how vulnerable its making itself
for all the world to see

Could I ever be so bold, so brash
to stand firm in my knowing
that I am perfection?

Oh naked tree
even you are here to show me, teach me
to stand strong in my glory

Look at my intricate form
no other like me in this world
standing bare I show you
its desirable to reveal

everything

For it is all you and it is all me
oh naked tree
thank you
thank you for bringing me

-truth

Reality check

beach and sky

I can give up but what was never real   A Course in Miracles

God is the only REALity there is.
What is God?
God is Love.
How do I know this?
I can feel magnificent grace coursing through my being when I’m there.
My Self knows the difference.
When in hate, resentment, fear, doubt, confusion
How does that feel?
My Self knows the difference and it nudges me, sometimes screams to me
But what am I to do?
I have to live in the “real world” you know.
There is only one REALity
God is Love
and that’s all there is.

 

 

photo by CBurns

Lighten up!

DSC00002

I was talking with an amazing friend of mine and she said something I deal with myself.

   “It feels like with everything I have to do everyday, things just keep piling up. It all feels so heavy.”

As smart, strong and awesome humans we can easily fall into the groove of taking everything on ourselves – to the point –  we forget about including our Higher Power. How do you know you’re doing it?

Life feels   Heavy.

Make the shift. Start by doing something silly. Draw a  picture full of stick people, watch a cartoon, bake funny cookies  or make a necklace out of cereal and eat it.

L i g h t e n   u p!

And pray…..

Hello God. I know you never forget about me, but apparently I forget about you. Ooops! Please help me with all my relationships, work and play. Thanks!

photo by CBurns