Letting go is easy
for those who have
never let go
photos by CBurns
“I just can’t seem to keep my life in balance. If I’m doing good in one area, next thing you know I’m slipping in another. Rarely does it feel just “right” and I’m purring on all 8 cylinders. I MUST be doing something wrong.”
Sound familiar? We love to strive for perfection don’t we? Trying to “succeed” in all arenas of life. Some of us try so hard for it, we don’t even know what we are even doing anymore. Next thing you know we are beating ourselves up because we perceive that we are failing at life (work, parenting, friendships, love life, etc.).
Balance is nice, yes. It feels so good when we have those moments of perfection and feel the brilliance of ourselves. How utterly fantastic we are keeping all those plates spinning. So talented…….
Alas, one plate falls. We scramble to pick it up and get it going again……..crash. There goes another one.
And so on…..
Okay I know, I know, we still want balance!! Okay so what if.
What if we could actually live our lives in complete balance, all the time, every day. Then what?
I’ll tell you what.
Lets look at a tight rope walker. Does he or she stay exactly in the middle – completely balanced the entire length of the walk? NO! They go a little to one side, then to the other, reveling in moments of complete balance in between.
That’s the fun and exciting part of watching a tight rope walker. Watching them TRY to stay balanced!! And although I’m not a tight rope walker per say…….I’d imagine the exhilaration of TRYING to stay balanced is why they do it in the first place!
So I am making a plea. Can we please stop making such a big deal about balance?
And while we’re at it……that goes for our meals, too. Sometimes ice cream for dinner is EXACTLY what my heart and soul needs.
How about you? Do you think balance is all it’s cracked up to be?
Image courtesy of Vlado at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
One of the things I love to do is ride my bike on the bike path near my home.
So peaceful being out in nature with the birds singing, chipmunks playing and occasionally; silence.
As I travel along my merry way, I come across many others on this same path. Some are also biking by themselves, with a companion or with children. Others jog; alone or in pairs. Some power walk, dog walk or push baby strollers. Then there are the occasional roller bladers.
And last, but certainly not least, the people who are just out taking a leisurely stroll.
Most are strangers but I appreciate my fellow bike “pathers” as we all engage in our outdoor activities – all of us in it together – enjoying life, freedom and the pursuit of happiness.
All of us using the path exactly how we see fit.
I breeze through giving a nod, a smile and the occasion hello. I have no problem with the course any of them are taking, the speed they’re going or by whatever means they choose to get from point A to point B.
I have no problem with them passing me up or slowing me down.
No problem with them what-so-ever.
So what if?
What if I could take this same mentality and practice it as I travel along with the ones close to me on the life path? What if I could learn to respect everyone’s individual journey? Accept how they move through their own life; slow-paced, fast-paced and even the ones who are just out for a leisurely stroll?
What if instead of trying to change and manipulate them into traveling the life path the way I think they should, I could instead breeze through giving a nod, a smile, a hug and an occasional “I love you”?
It’s certainly the makings of what I seek on the path in the first place; Peace of mind.
Could it all be this simple?
I pray as I travel though my days to bring forth the love, acceptance and patience I show strangers on the bike path to my loved ones on the life path.
I have this boldly glued on my wall in my meditation area. Pretty much everyday I sit, meditate, open my eyes and see the words, pray about everything, worry about nothing.
Yet I still worry.
Mostly about my children. What will become of them. How they are really doing. Are they happy? Do they know how awesome they truly are? Is there something more I could be doing to “help” them?
Therein lies the rub.
I know as parents we have our duties. Our responsibility’s to these beings we’ve helped bring into the world. I get that.
But where do we stop and God begin?
So often I take on the role of trying to be their everything. Of thinking I AM their everything. When I do this I am Easing God Out (ego) and I hardly even notice I’m doing it. I mean I’m their mother, I’m supposed to be getting “in there” and “helping” and “teaching” them. Right?
And the answer is, sure. But to a degree. For me, I have to ask myself in this dance of life, am I leading or am I letting my partner lead? I must be letting Him lead, if I’m praying, meditating and asking for help. But am I really letting go and letting God?
All I have to do is reflect honestly on the past week of which I can say….eh hem….. “no”. I haven’t been letting go and letting God. I’ve been getting in there with my suggestions and ideas to “help” them. But, when I’m doing this for the most part, I’m trying to get them to see things my way – secretly believing (knowing) my way is the best way.
I am the MOM after all. I do (should) know and want only what’s best for them. Right?
Back to the honest inventory of myself…….
I have an agenda whether I like it or not (and every time I see it I’m still very surprised at myself). When I really look at my actions and thoughts I clearly see, I’ve not only been leading the dance, I’ve been stepping on a lot of toes.
Even with my mediation, prayer and “talk” about God, I’ve subtly got in there and have been trying to run the whole show. So it’s no wonder I’m worried! If I’m really in charge, we’re all in trouble!
So what’s a mom to do? Surely I have to do something?!!???!!???!?
And as with any dance, all I really need to do is just master a few basic moves, trust my partner, relax and glide gracefully to the music.
God loves his children as much as I do (with the real possibility he loves them even more!) There is really nothing to worry about. Ever.
Maybe all my children really “need”, is for me to remember that.
I was talking with an amazing friend of mine and she said something I deal with myself.
“It feels like with everything I have to do everyday, things just keep piling up. It all feels so heavy.”
As smart, strong and awesome humans we can easily fall into the groove of taking everything on ourselves – to the point – we forget about including our Higher Power. How do you know you’re doing it?
Make the shift. Start by doing something silly. Draw a picture full of stick people, watch a cartoon, bake funny cookies or make a necklace out of cereal and eat it.
L i g h t e n u p!
Hello God. I know you never forget about me, but apparently I forget about you. Ooops! Please help me with all my relationships, work and play. Thanks!
What “voice” do you listen to? Most of us have millions of thoughts racing through our heads. How do we narrow it down?
One night when my son was younger, he was having a hard time getting to sleep. He said he kept thinking of the Scooby doo show he watched and the scary images he saw.
“You know Scooby doo is a cartoon and isn’t real right?” I asked.
“Yes, but I still can’t stop thinking about it.”
“I understand. Your brain is very smart. It calculates things like one plus one equals two. It saw that show and concluded, it was scary,” I tried to explain.
“But somehow in your heart, you know none of it is true, like you just told me. We use our brain to learn things, but it is very important to listen to our heart. Our heart knows things our brains will never understand.”
Too much for a youngster to understand? I don’t know – I’m no expert. But we said some prayers and he did manage to fall asleep. (Maybe to avoid another mommy philosophy session?)
As usual, the interaction with my child taught me as our conversation lingered in my head.
I believe we all have knowingness. Sometimes it is clear, sometimes it’s up front and still denied. Other times its buried and needing to work itself out like a sliver. Either way it is there.
If you ever spent any time in a silent meditation, in the beginning it’s almost unbearable. It’s no wonder we can get confused! Patience and compassion can be our watchwords. The more we practice at it – and – stick with it, the easier it becomes.
What I have found thru this process is there are alot of Scooby doo episodes all around me, but I don’t have to get entangled in that whole silly mess. If I’m staying close to God, my heart knows behind the scary monster masks are just everyday people and life situations of which I do not need to fear.
God quiet my mind. Remind me I have nothing to fear. Help me to listen to my heart.
Can we rest?
Under the golden tree
I think it’s time we take a break
Come – lie down with me
It’s okay, we can stop
nobody’s gonna gawk
I’ll put my hands upon your face
You’ll listen to me
Talk talk talk
And when you look into my eyes
You’ll know what my heart sees
I like art class, soccer and tap
But oh – look at those leaves!
And if I had to choose
Just one activity
I’d pick spending time with you
Under the golden tree
If not, you should be. I have the most amazing husband on the planet and every woman deserves a man like him. I know, you may be thinking, “Yay! Good for you….” Don’t be a hater. There’s more to the story. I don’t always feel this way. I have been known to throw myself the occasional pity party, whining and complaining about this same man. Or at least about the over inflated ideas I hold him up to.
My idea: He’s been working a lot of hours. I’ve barely seen him in days. All the house and family obligations are on me. I’m feeling tired and lonely. The doorbell rings, he has sent me a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolate! His idea: He brings home a case of energy drinks left from one of his clients.
My idea: He whisks me away to some roof top decorated with a thousand white, twinkling lights. Gently walking me over to an exquisitely set table complete with white linens, he pulls my chair out and gestures me to sit. Taking the sterling silver lid off of its sterling silver tray, he reveals a stunning diamond necklace. His idea: “Burgers on the grill tonight?”
My idea: I find a note on the refrigerator, Honey, I’ve taken care of the babysitter. Dress is casual. Be ready by six o’clock. His idea: Anything good on tv tonight?
While my ideas may be romantic as heck and would score him a lot of points (hint hint), meeting him halfway makes for a more peaceful, loving marriage. My expectations need to take a back seat so I can see what is really in the road right in front of me. On a daily basis he shows up and participates in our family’s lives. After working a twelve hour day, he walks in the door smiling, happy to be home and happy to see us. Day after day he gets up for his job, that is not what he would consider his dream career, and shows up ready and on time. I can count on him to be there for me and the children. When he is busy at work, he always makes time to talk to us on the phone if we need something. More often than not he tells me he loves me, I’m beautiful and an awesome wife and mother. Sometimes I’ll get a text message with a smiley face blowing a kiss. He’s not afraid to be himself and he makes us all laugh. So I may not get the “stuff” commercials, magazines and romance novels would have me believe I “need” to have a happy marriage, but in the real world I’m married to an awesome dad, a man of his word and a great friend. If you are married to my husband, good for you! Sharing the love helps us all remember how good we got it.
Daily Thoughts and Meditations as we journey together with our Lord.
Seeker - Speaker - Writer - Teacher
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I specialize in the treatment of sex and love addiction as well as parent education and enjoy facilitating experiential groups & intensives to promote healing.
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