I have this boldly glued on my wall in my meditation area. Pretty much everyday I sit, meditate, open my eyes and see the words, pray about everything, worry about nothing.
Yet I still worry.
Mostly about my children. What will become of them. How they are really doing. Are they happy? Do they know how awesome they truly are? Is there something more I could be doing to “help” them?
Therein lies the rub.
I know as parents we have our duties. Our responsibility’s to these beings we’ve helped bring into the world. I get that.
But where do we stop and God begin?
So often I take on the role of trying to be their everything. Of thinking I AM their everything. When I do this I am Easing God Out (ego) and I hardly even notice I’m doing it. I mean I’m their mother, I’m supposed to be getting “in there” and “helping” and “teaching” them. Right?
And the answer is, sure. But to a degree. For me, I have to ask myself in this dance of life, am I leading or am I letting my partner lead? I must be letting Him lead, if I’m praying, meditating and asking for help. But am I really letting go and letting God?
All I have to do is reflect honestly on the past week of which I can say….eh hem….. “no”. I haven’t been letting go and letting God. I’ve been getting in there with my suggestions and ideas to “help” them. But, when I’m doing this for the most part, I’m trying to get them to see things my way – secretly believing (knowing) my way is the best way.
I am the MOM after all. I do (should) know and want only what’s best for them. Right?
Back to the honest inventory of myself…….
I have an agenda whether I like it or not (and every time I see it I’m still very surprised at myself). When I really look at my actions and thoughts I clearly see, I’ve not only been leading the dance, I’ve been stepping on a lot of toes.
Even with my mediation, prayer and “talk” about God, I’ve subtly got in there and have been trying to run the whole show. So it’s no wonder I’m worried! If I’m really in charge, we’re all in trouble!
So what’s a mom to do? Surely I have to do something?!!???!!???!?
And as with any dance, all I really need to do is just master a few basic moves, trust my partner, relax and glide gracefully to the music.
God loves his children as much as I do (with the real possibility he loves them even more!) There is really nothing to worry about. Ever.
Maybe all my children really “need”, is for me to remember that.