Sometimes being on the road less travelled sucks.
That’s how I felt yesterday anyway. Yesterday it felt like it would be easier to:
- move to the other side of the world where no one knows me or
- give in and live my life to the un-fullest
I didn’t do either and all I can say is “thank God” because what a difference a day makes!
Today is another story. Today I’m living in yet another “fresh start”.
It’s interesting how prior to fresh starts life (or my thinking anyway) can get quite brutal. The questioning, the doubt, the “how dare they”, the justifications, the anger, the two steps forward, the three steps back.
The frustrations, the tears, the “maybe it’s not that bad”, the hurt feelings, the “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em”.
And then-the biggest one of them all-the powerlessness.
It feels so much like failure, but it’s not. It’s just life. It’s why I need a higher power in my life and why I need to include other seekers in my quest for change.
So today I took a step, (again) into what feels to be the solution. I refuse to give up. I refuse to stay in darkness when I know there’s light. I refuse to be dragged backwards. By some miracle I’ve seen the light and I believe in it and no amount of pressures or negative influences are going to turn me around.
Today, I know better – not just in my head – but in my heart and soul.
I love, love, love, fresh starts. Filled with hope, promise and if I’m to be honest, fear. But with the help of others on these less travelled roads, together we build momentum, creating cracks in the stone walls of dysfunctional systems allowing slivers of light to seep thru.
I pray to remember in times of discouragement that I’d rather be on this road any day over the road I used to travel. I believe this is where God wants me to be too, skipping along in the light, happy and free.