Just a mom

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.   ~Rajneesh

As I read this excerpt I squealed, “YES!! THANK YOU!” Unfortunately I was in a doctor’s office and should have kept it down a little. But being a mother myself, I just couldn’t help it. It is the wisest quote I ever heard about motherhood and something to remember when the urge comes to give a mother a bad rap.

I mean, we give birth to these beings and then are expected to know what to do with them? Why? Not one comes with an instruction manual. Sure there are books and TV gurus telling us all how to do it the “right” way.  I hate to break it to them, in the “real world”, it’s mostly trial and error.

Like how many times, just when you think you might be getting a handle on things and can sit back, put your feet up with a nice big bowl of buttered popcorn anticipating the delights of the latest chick flick, do they come in, change the channel and put their grubby little hands in your bowl.

It’s never ending. The different ages, challenges, personalities and do I dare speak of puberty’s wrath. Someone once said teenager is not an age, it’s a disease.

Even so, we continue to reproduce and sometimes I wonder why? Could it be simply because babies are so darn cute?  Capturing our hearts with their big, wondrous, loving eyes right before they bait us with a precious smile. Awww.  After that you’re in, hook, line and sinker. Natures little trick to keep the population going no doubt.

What if we had to birth a teenager, which of course would bring on an entirely new set of problems in the delivery process alone (sorry for the visual), but that would fix us wouldn’t it? Literally, we would all scramble to snip, insert or digest a prevention solution and quick!

In my own life, I recently had no choice but to “cut the cord” with my twenty year old sponge master.  Considering he didn’t think working or furthering his education was his calling, I thought giving him those two extra years was pretty generous. He didn’t see it as generous, he saw it as physco.

He just doesn’t get me. I must have skipped the chapter on teaching my child “How to Identify with your Parents Point of View in Five Easy Steps”.  Something told me to keep on reading…….

Trust me, it was hard and tears were shed over my bird leaving the nest, (ok he got pushed out but how else are we going to know if he can fly?) so I decided to write him a little prose. It may not have helped him understand where I’m coming from, but it did tons for me.

 Just a mom

I know you may see me as someone who should have all the answers and never make mistakes

I know you see me as a servant, a bank and a punching bag (figuratively speaking of course)

But I’m just a mom

Just a person

Born one fine day in the 1960’s, stole the hearts of my parents, grew up, rebelled, became a wife, then a mother

No training or schooling on the subject, just kinda shootin from the hip most of the time

Like my mother (love you mom)

Sorry for this surprising news. Sorry you put so much into my role and not enough into yours. Sorry I can’t be the scapegoat for all your troubles. Oh, wait, I could be, but it doesn’t work believe me

 I tried

If you only knew the pressure to be Supermom, but in real life……just an ordinary person

The only thing special and unique about me – my love for you, that’s it

I know it’s hard to take, you thinking I was the fairy princess with the magic wand and all

 It was hard for me too

Nothing left for you to do now but grow up, I guess.  It happens to the best of us someday. Only difference some pick it up quicker than others.  I was one of the others, too. I know it’s hard, but here’s the good news………YOU CAN DO IT! 

Oh, and did I forget to mention?  I love you and………..don’t forget to write!

Yes being a mom is the most amazing, challenging, rewarding, complex thing you will ever do and we are the subject on just about every therapist’s couch around the globe.

And guess what? You know we wouldn’t change a thing.

That reminds me, have to add another line……… just a glutton for punishment…….


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